Sunday, 12 May 2013

Boys don't cry

I was told about an article by a mate which says that in a poll these were the top ten songs that make men cry.

1. Everybody Hurts (REM)
2. Tears in Heaven (Eric Clapton)
3. Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen)
4. Nothing Compares 2 U (Sinead O'Connor)
5. With or Without You (U2)
6. The Drugs Don't Work (The Verve)
7. Candle in the Wind (Elton John)
8. Streets of Philadelphia (Bruce Springsteen)
9. Unchained Melody (Todd Duncan)
10. Angels (Robbie Williams)

To be honest I have to say that apart from 3,6 and maybe 4 I think that this is a poll done by people who had a list of ten songs and asked people to rate them. Here is the article:

Time for a song

(love the old pictures)

So, boys cry. We know that. I had a look on Spotify to see what lists other people have come up with and to be reminded of songs that might make me well up. I don't know if this is something that can be done. What I mean by this is that I can name some songs, and I will , and you may have the same reaction I did to the above list, which is a shrug and not really a response.

I mean the #2 song by Eric Clapton. That song is a song he wrote when his son died at the age of 4 after falling out a window. The song is a tribute to the boy and asks if he would recognise Clapton in heaven. Sad stuff. But it doesn't make me well up because I do not have an emotional attachment to it.
Having an emotional attachment to the music is really what gets the tears going.

With that in mind here are some of the songs I think bring the tears to me.

Cat's In The Cradle.

I have no idea if you have a son, but you have/had a dad. That song makes it extremely difficult not to think about that relationship. Good or bad, it is an extremely sentimental song and as such it speaks to some emotion. I am not going to bore you with the details of my relationships, but I have a father and a son and to me there is emotion connected to both that makes that song poignant in many ways.

This song always elicits a response from me as well:

That is because it takes me to a place where I remember those people I have known who intentionally or otherwise committed suicide. I miss them and so in a moment of self pity I start to well up a bit. It is a bit of a mood thing though. If it is grey and dark and I am hungover then I am more likely to go off than on other occasions.

I have to admit that I am a bit of a crier. I think that I am a relatively calm person, but particularly sentimental films make me well up. I am not a sobber I hasten to add. Nor does pain elicit tears, well not yet anyway. Put me in front of a sentimental film, particularly on a plane, and the eyes start burning. . . .I guess though that my love of music underpins this. Music brings out an emotional response and it is not really much of a leap to then think that sentimentality and becoming emotionally involved in the song or film will have many effects. One might be crying.

I tell you because the next song is completely left field, to say the least

I dont really know why. I guess it gets me thinking about how great some things are and how much it would hurt to lose them. It is more than that. I think of the loss of joy. By this I mean that I think the song is a celebration of how great and wonderful it is to have the things the song talks about and the feelings that they emote. To lose that joy really hits me in a wierd way. Am I the only one?

It does seem though that although I have a strong love for darker emotional music, not a lot of songs actually bring the tears. Whilst writing this I have been listening to Joy division, The Cure, Counting Crows, Massive Attack, Alice in Chains. Husker Du, you know, happy songs about sunshine and butterflies  . . . .I have come to the realization that the songs that make a man cry, or anyone cry for that matter, are songs that drag you into them and then relate the topic to something in your life. Whether it is the loss of that or more likely  applying the situation in the song to that facet in your own life, means that you become sad and cry.

So? Give me some songs and I will put a list together from music people and send it to the same people who put the other list together.

Thanks to Greg for the suggestion and the link.

1 comment:

  1. AnonymousMay 14, 2013

    Your point on the personal connection is bang on. Sometimes there's a lyric or musical phrase that blindsides you because it means something in your life.

    Speaking of songs for fathers, the spoken intro to the Rolling Stones' Fool to Cry always gets me and the story that Keith Richards learnt of the death of his son Tara before this live version (
    ) only heightens the effect of it.

    Hadn't heard the Joey Ramone cover - glad I did.